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Our special needs world is like night and day compared to typical parents.

On the hard days when everything reminds me of how difficult having a child with a disability really is I envy the parents that get to live a life where they can simply pick up and go.
I also realize how different our lives are. Is like we live in total different worlds. It's like night and day. Our newborn face has not yet faded. We still have sleepless nights, we still get up every two hours, and we are still carry our diaper bags. 

The quick trips to the grocery store, going to the bank, eating in a fast food restaurant or even pumping gas at a gas station take so much time and effort.  
So many little things that as a parent of a child with special needs I can not do without some extensive planning.
The other day I had to leave the bank as soon as I got there.
Why you may ask? 
 I know my child and sometimes a simple 5 minute wait in a line will trigger a full blown meltdown so I leave before it gets to the point. Not because I am embarrassed of my child acting out but because it overwhelms him to the point where he losses control where he will try to hurt himself or even hurt me. It becomes a safety issue for both of us.
    
The trip to the gas station gets me every time. 
I sit in my car and stare at all the people coming out of their cars and look at how simple it must be to just walk in and walk out of the gas station.
Pumping gas at a gas stations takes us more planning than a trip to Disneyland.
This is a serious matter.
I have to make sure I take the money out, and have it on hand
their is no time to open a wallet.
ATM is definitely preferred but their is those times when the little note is posted to pay inside.
 I have to carry Emmett's blanket his blanket is his comfort he blocks out overstimulating light with it.
 Hold Emmett's hand he will not follow me no way not safe. 
Watch out for cars Emmett has no sense of awareness about cars.
Remember what number of the pump,
Take Emmett out, and let him know we are going.
Open the doors for him, and sometimes he has to be carried out because his legs refuse to walk. 
Yes I still carry his 45 pound body.
 Lock the car.
He gets overstimulated by to many people walking at the same time so he will sit and watch people walk. 
A little inconvenient if your in middle of a parking lot.
When we finally pump gas after 20 long minutes I feel like I conquered the world.
Like there should be an award for it. "Mom pumping gas with child today". lol.
So yes! I envy those parents that don't need to plan for stuff like this. 
It's so difficult sometimes it doesn't work out and Emmett has a full meltdown getting in the car and getting off the car. 
Each meltdown will take about 20 minutes. 
Therefore a simple trip to the gas station can turn into an hour trip really quickly. 


This life is hard thank you to the people that take the time to open the door for me while my hands are full with my child. 

To the people that are willing to hold my place in line while I chase my child.
To the people that smile and comment nice things when they see Emmett throwing himself on the floor, 
and to the people that think I should just not take my child sometimes we don't have a choice we can't get a babysitter to go pump gas or go to the bank, or a quick trip to the grocery store. It's just our life is not easy.



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